We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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