a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he thought i was a dude.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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