Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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