she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
