Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
