So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
