alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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