My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
