You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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