HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
