yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
