Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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