my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just want to make out with him forever
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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