my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
