So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
