so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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