eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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