Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
