we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
