Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
