i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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