This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Farmville is her only friend.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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