I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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