I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
