I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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