that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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