Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
last night I used snow as a chaser
false alarm, still single
Randomize
