hotel room ftw
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
