my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
