So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
