it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
