Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
