Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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