I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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