how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
