If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
