I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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