whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
