the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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