he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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