btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
