He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
