He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
