Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
