seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
