is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
