DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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