he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
