I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
