so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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